The Best Friend Complication
by Starlet36
Summary: Serenity: sweet, dutiful, minimum wage KC secretary, who never thought her scandulous thoughts aloud. Tea: celebrity dancer, kind, stubborn as a mule. Nothing could get in the way of their friendship...Well, except Seto Kaiba. S x ?
1. It All Began With a Muffin

**The Best Friend Complication** (meh, I'm thinking about changing the title to Love Triangle...your thoughts?)

Disclaimer: Do NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh! There.

**Chapter One: It All Began With a Muffin…**  
I hope you like it! (I just thought it would be interesting to write about who Seto would choose: Serenity or Tea?...Actually you the reader get to decide that but I'll get to that after you finish reading)

* * *

_Click, click, click…_

So was the ritual clicking against the computer keys of Kaiba Corporation's largest secretary base, home to over 1,000 unhappy, bored women.

Well, until the irresistibly cute Mokuba left the proximity. No one could slack off with his slave-driving puppy eyes…

There was a collective sigh of relief as soon as he left, and all the women started chatting amongst themselves, abandoning the keyboard.  
Now, if one looked closely one would see an odd occurrence: _was someone actually still typing? _Ah, there was. A newbie. Tch.

Serenity Wheeler was busily typing against the keyboard a dictatedemail to Dungeon Dice MonstersCorporation. She was supposed to be typing the exact words of the KC administrator to Duke Devlin, president of that company. Unfortunately since the said president had realized that she worked for KC, he called her constantly.

_Dear Duke Devlin,_

"Serenity! Is that you?" said the giddy dice boy. Serenity gave a moan of frustration; the irritating, arrogant guy was constantly calling her for a date. So far Serenity had rejected him a record of 43 times. Had Duke finally gotten the hint through his thick head? Hell no.

"Of course Duke. Who else could I be? I'm very busy right now though writing an emailto your corporation so-" Serenity started out politely. Of course, Duke heard nothing.

"Oh you are! How sweet Serenity! You can gush about me in your email; it's so sweet that you're working Serenity at KC in preparation for working at _my_ corporation blahblahblah…" Duke said, oblivious to Serenity pounding her head against the computer monitor. She hated how Duke always portrayed as the weak, boyfriend-needy, obsessed Devlin fangirl. She tried to ignore his typing and continue on with heremail informing Duke that KC was interested in buying his corporation.

"Just wondering if you were interested in me picking you up at eight for an expensive dinner…" Duke drawled out with Serenity was sure a self-centered wink.  
Conceited little twit.  
Serenity growled, plugged out her headphone, and started changing her email.

_Kaiba Corporation regrets to inform you _(Serenity smirks)…_that unless immediate foreclosure is announced by your Dungeon Dice Monsters Corporation, Kaiba Corporation will be forced to take drastic measures. These drastic measures would involve in a corporate takeover, or perhaps less official means that could be...health hazardous. _

_Sincerely, _(Serenity's smirk grows wider here) _XOXO_

_Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corporation_

Perfect. Serenity grinned at imagining "Dukie's" face when he read the 'health hazardous' means. Duke was a wimp when it came to threats; he'd be paranoid for months. Serenity's slender hand moved her mouse over to the send button. The deprived evil inside her begged her to click it and see the arrogant jerk suffer. Of course, the overwhelming good little Serenity would never send this to him.

"SERENITY!" yelled the neighboring secretary as she jostled Serenity's back as if the yelling wasn't enough and Serenity needed to be a human cyclone in order to hear her.

"What the-" Her hand moved dangerously towards the clicker.

_WHAM!_ One particularly jostle had Serenity's face kissing the computer monitor. Literally.

_Your mail has been sent. _

Crud.

"Oh my god, Serenity are you okay?" said that high-pitched, screechy voice that Mrs. Wagner held. 'Other than my head throbbing and now having a red mark that looks like a zit, I'm just wonderful,' thought Serenity with her thoughts oozing sarcasm.

Her boss was NOT going to be happy with the email. Especially if it was the infamously bad-tempered Seto Kaiba.  
In other words, she was royally screwed.

"Oh, it's a little bruise, but I'll be okay."

"Bruise? It looks like a huge pimple if you ask me," replied the comforting Mrs. Wagner with her penciled-in eyebrows slightly raised on her botoxed face. Serenity always gave a subconscious wince whenever she saw her, but who wouldn't? Mrs. Wagner also had breast augmentation but for her ripe age of fifty, gravity did it more harm than good. If that wasn't scarring enough for Serenity's eyes she had a nice big hairy mole to look at beside her neon red lips that the young secretary personally thought Mrs. Wagner should have corrected instead of her cleavage size. And to top it all off was a too-tight, too-short business suit that showed too much for poor Serenity. It was all she could to not drop down on her knees and beg for mercy from the fashion disaster.

So Serenity merely had her eyes twitching madly as the woman swung her colossal cleavage towards the poor girl. "So what are you doing Serenity?" she said in that nasal voice.

I don't know…how about **_MY JOB!_**

"Nothing really…" Serenity replied absently but Mrs. Wagner was ignoring the newbie secretary as soon as she heard the whoosh against the far doors. All the secretaries' eyes immediately stopped conversation and trained their greedy eyes over to that door.

If there was one upside to their minimum-wage secretary jobs, this was it. There was only one way for CEO Seto Kaiba to make it to his office: through the secretaries. Or as Kaiba quaintly called it: the mob of hell. All the secretaries were leaning out of their cubicles and ogling every perfect square that was their boss.

Even saintly Serenity gave the tall figure in the distance a glance. Well, to see if he was wearing _the_ pants. He was. Serenity fought the urge to drool.

_The_ pants were the business pants Kaiba had bought two years ago and so far had failed to notice that the pants were just a wee bit too small for him. So small in fact that everyone got a good look at his perfect, tight, round bottom.

She would not drool, she wasbetter than that. Serenity went to plan B instead: the muffin. Muffin, you may wonder? Yes, a muffin was Serenity's plan to beat her lust for Kaiba. She took a deep bite out of her banana nut muffin as she saw the pants focus into view. The girl subconsciously leaned her head out of her meager cubicle and took another bite of her delicious muffin. Every secretary was giggling madly as the haughty CEO made his silent yet sure footsteps toward his office. Every secretary hoped that said CEO would grace his penetrating icy blue eyes on themselves so they could die happy.

Serenity tilted her chin forward so she could get a better look at him. She wasn't obsessed…she was simply looking at her boss. There was nothing wrong with that!

'_Ah, but you want to do more than just look don't you Serenity?'_ whispered her evil naughty half. Nonsense, good Serenity thought, she just needed to take another bite of her muffin.

By this point the young secretary was leaning so far over the open area of her cubicle that …

_**THUMP.**_

Graceful. Serenity Wheeler now lay in a tumbled heap on the floor. One point against Serenity.

In front of Seto Kaiba. Her extremely hot boss. Two points.

Oh, and she was showing her underwear to said hot boss. Jackpot!  
We have a winner for stupidity!

Serenity felt a pink blush creep up her cheeks as she stared at Kaiba's well-polished black business shoes. She slowly forced her eyes to trail upward: past the infamous pants, past the white oxford shirt that couldn't conceal well-toned muscles, and Serenity rested her eyes on Kaiba's pristine lips. She couldn't bear to look up at those icy eyes. Well, until she heard this:

"Nice panties," came the sexy, husky voice of Seto Kaiba.

A flaming red Serenity flashed her hazel eyes up to Kaiba's and saw them mocking her. His face was lit up in a smirk, and he seemed to find a lot of amusement in Serenity's embarrassing predicament.

And this irked Serenity.

"You-you pervert!" Serenity yelled uncharacteristically.

Kaiba raised his eyebrows as his smirk intensified. Serenity was becoming insane having to look at that smirk taunt her from above.

Personally Kaiba thought it was rather entertaining to see little Serenity get worked up. Her blushing face with its wild hazel eyes and pursed generous lips contrasted with her dainty porcelain body.

"My, my then the saying is true. Red-heads _are_ hot-tempered." Kaiba said with a chuckle as he gave Serenity's business skirt a closer glance to see her colorful lingerie. Serenity growled; she was having a bad day and no one, not even the sexy Seto Kaiba, was going to piss her off now. Yes, Serenity's evil side had finally won.

"First off, IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE RED! IT'S CHESNUT! And that's a STUPID saying anyways!" she roared from her petite frame. Kaiba just gave her a condescending smirk that clearly read 'And you just confirmed my theory'.

"Most human beings are supposed to eat in the cafeteria. (raising of eyebrows) I guess you are the exception. Next time girl, eat where you are supposed to unless you want to be working the cashier for McDonald's," Seto said disdainfully as he glanced at the muffin crumbs decorating Serenity's chestnut/red hair and her clothes. Serenity's face blushed redder if that was possible. Kaiba turned around clearly signaling that humiliating-the-secretary time was over, "Now, if you'll excuse me girl, however amusing this is to watch I have more important things to attend to. You should buy some acne cream as well." Dismissal as well as taunting were clearly heard in his voice.

Serenity didn't know if it was the email to Duke that was probably going to get her fired, the zitlike bruise on her head, the scarring of Mrs. Wagner, or the arrogant sexy Seto Kaiba's humiliation of her that caused her to crack. All she knew was her slim, pale hand picking up the remains of the banana nut muffin. Her sanity screamed for her to stop and think it over; she needed this job! Unfortunately, this was the day Serenity snapped.

Her narrowed hazel eyes were scheming as they gazed at the banana nut muffin that would be Kaiba's demise. With a smirk that matched Seto's, Serenity hurled the muffin with all her might at Seto Kaiba's perfectly groomed brunette head.

_THWACK._

The muffin had landed.

There are very few things that can cause Seto Kaiba to lose his temper. That short list included the geek squad, losing, and someone stealing Mokuba. A banana nut muffin was now added to that list.

"Who. Threw. That. _Muffin_!" Kaiba whispered in his most chilling voice. All the nearby secretaries started quaking in fear; besides being the youngest, most successful CEO in Japan, Seto Kaiba also held the record of firing the most employees in one hour. Fortunately, Kaiba needn't look far to find his answer.

"Serenity did it! Ooooh! Oooh! It was Serenity!" shrilled Mrs. Wagner in her impersonation of a chimpanzee. Soon in a vie for Kaiba's praise all the secretaries had their fingers pointing towards poor Serenity.

'What friends I have', thought Serenity with disdain as the Secretary 'mob of hell' was transformed into a living monkey zoo.

"So this is what mankind has evolved itself to. Beautiful." muttered a disgruntled Serenity. She never saw the amused smirk a CEO gave following the comment. But that would be because the CEO remembered himself, wiped the smirk off his face, and said snidely, "Well better a monkey than a mutt."

Serenity thought it best not to retort. Her anger and mischief was spent for an eternity, and now Serenity was deeply regretting her actions against her boss.

Because even though throwing a muffin at your boss's head is very satisfying...it also means you are definitely now unemployed. With a cringe she could already imagine wearing the McDonald's uniform with a greasy hairnet and all.

"Kaiba I am _so_ sorry," she pleaded with her doe-like hazel eyes that would've melted the majority of Domino's male population. Not Seto Kaiba.

"Mutt. My office. 12:30. We'll be discussing your current position at my corporation." Kaiba said shortly before parting in his monstrous yet graceful strides. Then he remembered something…

"Wheeler?" he asked in his gruff, sexy voice.

"Yes?" Serenity asked her eyes full of hope that Kaiba would **a)** forgive her (fat chance) **b)** confess that he was wrong in remarking about her unmentionables (also fat chance) or **c)** take her in his arms and make mad monkey- Where the hell was her good conscious? No, as one can guess it was none of the above choices.

"Buy some new lingerie and God have mercy, never eat another muffin." he said curtly, his face hidden in a shadow.

But she could've sworn hegave her a devilishwink as he left with an elegant swoosh.

Serenity was infuriated beyond belief at the arrogant man! That insolent pervert! Why she oughta-

And then she got a good look at his rotund heiny.

Drool. _Traitorous mind!_ Ah, Seto Kaiba was just too hot for Serenity's conscious. Serenity got up from her cubicle and began to make preparations for her inevitable firing. She was going to need to apologize about the 'Duke' incident, complain to her BFF Tea, buy a pint of melt-your-sorrow cookie dough ice cream, and beg for her final paycheck. Then Serenity remembered that perfect bottom belonging to an infuriating CEO, and giving a resigned sigh to her evilness, she knew one necessity she needed to have above all else in order to keep her sanity…

Serenity was going to need another muffin.

* * *

Seto Kaiba glared at for once, not a meek human, but a stupid piece of paper that was spelling his demise on his elaborate office desk. 

Damn paper…

Because as the paper confirmed, for once in his life Kaiba found himself in a corporate situation that he had never faced before.

He was losing profits. He was actually being BEATEN by the competition. Oh, and this is where it got good: who was the competition that was whooping Kaiba Corp's butt?

Dungeon Dice Monsters Company. With none other than airhead, pretty boy Duke Devlin as their almighty leader of spaziness.

Which is how Seto Kaiba found himself pounding his head on his desk muttering self-piyingly, "Why? Why him? Why did I have to lose to a ditz?"

Except the annoying paper sheaf told him exactly why Kaiba had lost to a ditz. Because said ditz was appealing to the youth. Because although Kaiba was ranked as the #1 most eligible bachelor three years in a row, the whole country knew that having him was a lost dream. So they had moved onto a more reachable figure: pretty boy Duke. It didn't hurt that he had cheerleaders, celebrity endorsers, a monthly sport car giveaway, as well as weekly girlfriends.

Kaiba Corp was becoming, dare Seto think it, _outdated_ compared to a company which superseded it in hipness, and overall popularity. This fact irked Kaiba to no end who couldn't stand to be second.  
Not to a pretty boy spaz.  
Especially not to a pretty boy spaz, Kaiba thought as he flicked yet another muffin crumb out of his hair. Thinking of the 'muffin incident' brought both a frown and an unwilling twitch of a smile onto a solemn CEO's face as he continued glancing through the paper his executives had slaved over. Finally reaching the solution to the problem, Seto groaned reading it although he somewhatknew this was coming all along. How did that maddening little saying go? Oh yes, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Stupid redneck saying. That his executives now followed, and the great Kaiba himself was now going to heed. Gee wiz.

Kaiba ran his fingers through his thick brown hair in frustration as he knew the only way to beat Duke Devlin's Corporation was for Kaiba Corp to become…hip. (shudder)

And to be hip Kaiba Corp needed a celebrity endorser.

And as the exasperating paper eagerly confirmed, the #1 most famous celebrity in Japan at this moment was- Kaiba read it and literally recoiled away- the dancer, Tea Gardner.

Lovely. Fate hated him. He was going to use an annoying, friendship-lover cheerleader against a spaz and his pretty boy goons. This was going to be the battle of the century.  
God, how could he forget her little daily friendship speeches in high school? That musketeer carp she went on about being 'one for all!' Those pretty azure eyes that alwaysbegged him to change his ways…Pretty! Where in God's name did that come from?

Lack of sleep, that was it, lack of sleep. Or insanity. Kaiba preferred the former.

But the more Seto thought about it…the more he warmed up to the idea. Here in his territory, little dancing Tea would be lost in the corporate world. She would detest it beyond belief, but stubborn Tea would need him to survive in this world. Seto Kaiba smirked.

Call it years of high school torture revenge of listening to that girl's ranting and bubbling enthusiasm. Call it immature. Kaiba honestly didn't care what you thought.

It was payback time.

"Yes, Lester could you find me a certain Tea Gardner's phone number for me. Thank you. Set an appointment…Call it a classmate reunion.(Kaiba rethought that) Better yet, offer her millionsto bribe her." Kaiba said with a calculating sneer on his perfect face. Things were looking up. Beat the number one celebrity in Japan, _Dukie_.

In such a good mood, Seto even tried the remains of muffin on his desk. Hmmm, not bad. He remembered the petite secretary flushed face when she saw his gaze on her form. Though Kaiba would rather admit Yami might be a pharaoh, deep down he thought the mutt's tantrums were rather cute. But she was just the stupid mutt's sister. All the Wheelers were good at was for amusement.

But he then remembered Serenity's huge hazel eyes pleading at him for mercy. Strangely enough, Kaiba thought for a moment that those entrancing eyes werehypnotic and Kaiba found himself drowning in their warm, comforting, kind gaze.  
Tch, he really needed some coffee.

"Lester?" Seto asked brusquely into his intercom.

"Yes, sir?"

"Send up a black coffee immediately." The stoic CEO said with what could almost be hints of desperation in his voice. First Serenity Wheeler, kid sister of moron Joey Wheeler (that was bad genetics right there), and now Tea Gardner (cheerleader and royal pain in Kaiba's butt). This was turning out to be a bad day.

Yet in his unbiased memory he recalled Serenity's face stuffed with a muffin as the crumbs spilled over her hair, chin, and ruined business suit. And then Kaiba did a very very rare thing (so rare that even Mokuba was taken aback whenever he heard it): he laughed. Full-throated, ringing, not mocking laughter filled the silent sound-proofed office building. However bad this day was turning out to be, Seto thought, it was certainly interesting...well, as long as Seto Kaiba was in control.  
Kaiba gave an enigmatic smirk. Just how it should be. There had yet to be a person who bested Kaiba...so far.

"Lester?"

"Something else, sir?"

"Yes. Send up a banana nut muffin as well."

* * *

How do you think of my first Seto/Serenity/(and soon to be Tea) fic? (I hope I was somewhat original) Sorry if the words sometimes run together, my computer is messed up...:( 

Now you get to decide the pairings: Seto/Serenity or Seto/Tea? Vote now! Although I like both pairings and I already have a preference…whatever you decide I will write!

So please review! (I'm on spring break now so the faster the reviews, the faster the updates) Oh, and happy belated St. Patrick's Day!

Starlet36


	2. I Sold My Soul to the Devil

Sorry, it took so long! I lost my plot bunny! But now, that I've got him back, I won't ever lose him again. (Bunny: Well, this sucks.) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ENCOURAGING REVIEWS! I LOVED READING THEM!

And the votes are in! (dramatic pause)

**Tea/Seto: 5**

**Serenity/Seto: 10**

As you can see, Serenity is in the lead by a lot! All you azureshipping fans WHO HAVE NOT ALREADY VOTED better start if you want the pairing! (personally, I find the different reviews I get very refreshing)

Disclaimer: Do you guys honestly think that the creator of YGO would write something like this?

So as not to confuse you all, I'll tell you that Tea is going to appear at 1:00 p.m., which is AFTER the meeting between Seto and Serenity. But Tea knows none of this right now.

Plz enjoy!

* * *

"We're offering you a MILLION YEN! Do you hear me, Miss Gardner, A MILLION just to _speak_ with Kaiba-san!" the Kaiba flunkee yelled, desperation leaking in after two hours of cajoling the girl crumbling to pieces at the word 'Seto Kaiba'.

"I heard you loud and clear. But the answer is still, no." Tea said, patience wearing thin as she seated herself at her usual table in the café. "Please, stop calling me."

"Kaiba-san is a very important man and he will be very displeased-"

Ah, but thing was, _she _would be very pleased.

"My answer remains the same." Tea quietly thanked the owner for her standard coffee and muffin, and handed him the money. She vaguely heard sobbing on the other line. He hadn't given up. Tea took a deep breath to control her rising temper.

"YOU STUPID GIRL!" he wailed. "HOW COULD YOU REFUSE?"

And Tea glared at her cell phone. And glared. And glared. She even took a deep, relaxing breath.

And then she snapped.

"How could I refuse Seto Kaiba?" Tea repeated, her tone speaking of unbridled hatred. "Like this." Click.

Glaring at her cell phone, she was tempted to call KaibaCorp and tell them where they could stick her cell phone…but her coffee was going to get cold. So she turned it off (-smack, smack- "DIE." Uh...Tea had some anger issues) and got out her emergency cell that very few people knew the number of. Most importantly, not Seto Kaiba.

Yes, she knew she looked like a Grade-A snob with two cell phones.

But it was an odd habit she had gotten used to ever since she had become a celebrity and had missed the phone call of when her Mother was in an accident. She still couldn't forgive herself.

Nevertheless, she doubted it would ring…her Mom was sleeping, Coco was fine, and only Tea herself was the one not fine.

No way in hell would it ring.

So, of course, it had to ring immediately.

Tea answered, 2.5 seconds later, terrified that something horrible had happened. "Mom, are you okay? Did Coco eat another shoe? OMG, he DID didn't he?-"

"Calm down, Tea. It's me, Serenity. And I'm totally fine." Serenity answered on the other line, with the voice of someone who just lit themselves on fire and crashed through your window. Or to be more specific, she sounded like Tristan in his desperate attempt to confess his love to Serenity, the girl of his disturbing dreams.

You know, confused, happy, and with that unique voice you can only acquire while on the run from the cops.

"Oh hey, Ren-chan." Tea said automatically, using her nickname for her best friend before remembering herself. "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU USING THIS NUMBER? YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!"

"Calm down, man-eater." Serenity said. Tea winced at her own nickname.

"Come now, _Ren-chan_," Tea said, remembering her recent break-up. "I really thought he was the one,"

Serenity sighed. Tea was beautiful, smart, talented…but her taste in men sucked. "That's what you said about Motoharu (Bastard.), Raoul (Bastard.), Kai (Bastard.), David (Bastard.), Takato (Bastard.), and lastly Daichi (Very bad word.)" Serenity ticked off as Tea slumped further down in her chair at each name, in embarrassment.

Tea gave a light chuckle to convince Serenity know she was fine…but she clenched the handle on her coffee cup until her knuckles turned white.

"Don't even try it, Tea." Serenity continued gently, seeing through Tea's facade. "That bastard didn't deserve you. We all knew it. You didn't need to read _'the Scoop' _or force yourself to see that picture of him and Yumi to prove it!" Tea shut her eyes tightly as she shook her head slowly in pain. Yumi her publicist. Yumi her friend. "Let's change the subject, Serenity," Tea mumbled. Serenity realized she had crossed a line, and immediately guilt consumed her.

"I'm so sorry, Tea," Serenity pleaded, chastised. "I was just teasing you for calling me that stupid nickname, but I should've never mentioned that…Feel free to call me any name you want."

"Wow, you must really be feeling guilty, Renny-Poo." Tea commented, perking up. And then she remembered that she was using her emergency cell to discuss her past boyfriends. "Renny. This. Is. My. ALONE. Time. The keyword being ALONE. No, don't even try that 'but-we-are-two-of-the-same-soul-and-cannot-be-parted' line, although your faint last time was really believable."

"That's because it was real, Man-chan. Ever hear of deodorant?…(Tea: **TT** Death glare.) And you wonder why I don't show up to any of your dance practices?" Serenity replied sweetly.

"Touché," Tea said, "But I'm sure you didn't use my emergency phone line to discuss my body odor. If you say you found an awesome shoe sale again, I will personally strangle you,"

"Oh, yeah. Well, to be honest, I'm not totally fine." Serenity murmured seriously, remembering the real reason she had called. Tea's smile dried up faster than you could say, 'We'd like you to meet with Seto Kaiba'. "Well, Kaiba-" Tea was suddenly filled with a horrible sense of foreboding. "-called me to his office after I, err, lost my temper…and, uh, threw a muffin at him."

Tea idly cleaned her ear for a moment. And then she burst out into fits of hysterical laughter.

"_You?"_ Tea cried in mirth. "The girl who has the patience to go out in public with her brother? I mean, just _look_ at your _name_…I am so proud. I think I might just cry."

"Yes, well, hold the Kleenex, because I don't think Kaiba shares your humor." Serenity said, recalling his 'I-will-find-a-way-to-bury-your-body' look.

"He didn't do anything to you, did he?" Tea said, her voice deadly. "If he did, I swear I will make sure he _pays_-!"

Serenity cut in, hurriedly. "Down, girl, down. You sound like you're thinking of hiring hit men…THAT WAS A JOKE!"

"Oh…of course."

"Back to my story. Now, when I went to meet Kaiba," Serenity continued. Tea was becoming so engrossed that she failed to notice that her cell phone had an important icon on her cell blinking. The one of a battery.

"I was a bit nervous…I thought he was going to fire me," Serenity conceded.

"HE THREATENED YOU? THAT _BASTARD!"_

Serenity half in attempt to correct her friend, and half because she recalled the real reason she called Tea, answered just as hysterically, "NO! HE-"

_Your battery has reached critical level. Your phone must turn off._

"What?" Tea breathed, feeling as if she had just read a book that ended with a cliffhanger. Her phone died with a despondent beep. "You can't be serious…Why NOW?" Tea wailed. She realized that she used the emergency cell so rarely that she'd forgotten to charge it…Drat. And she wasn't going to use her other phone until she could block KaibaCorp.

This just wasn't her day.

First, she was late to her Friday morning coffee and that never happened.

Then, she had talked to a buffoon for TWO HOURS just because she thought she could meet up with an old classmate…until she heard the classmate in question.

Seto Kaiba. The royal snob in high school. Bastard teased her mercilessly. Bastard had the nicest ass she'd ever seen…err…She could take that back, right?

She shuddered in disgust at his famous insolent smirk and took a deep swig from her coffee.

"Gardner," snapped a deep, sexy voice.

And Tea looked up at a familiar insolent smirk. That belonged to Seto Kaiba.

F--k.

She did the only thing she could; she spat her lukewarm coffee all over his clothes. _"KAIBA?"_ she sputtered, feeling her heart start to give out.

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "No, I'm Santa Claus." He looked at his ruined suit with disdain, but thanked the heavens that it wasn't hot. He sat down on the opposite chair without even botherng to ask Tea. "Didn't your mother teach you not to speak with your mouth full?" he asked, while ordering a black coffee and tons of napkins.

"My mother taught me not to speak to assholes." Tea replied, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

Kaiba was unfazed. "Now, is that anyway to speak to an old classmate? No." He took a sip from his coffee while other café onlookers ogled at the two celebrities, not being able to hear anything.

"We are not friends Kaiba." Tea said, cutting to the chase.

"Wow. That hurts me deeply," Kaiba said with a pout that bordered on the edge of malicious and downright creepy. Tea resisted the urge to slap him.

"Why are you here?" She asked bitterly, feeling as if the world was conspiring against her.

"I thought Lester made that clear. Obviously, I need to elaborate for your small cheerleading mind to comprehend." Kaiba remarked condescendingly as he got out a small stack of papers from his briefcase. Suddenly, he gained a predatory smirk. "Let me make this very simple for you. _You_ are going to work for _me_."

Tea was livid. "Excuse me, Kaiba," she seethed. "But I believe, as I have told your flunkee and now need to elaborate for your simple mind to comprehend…I SAID NO."

Kaiba's smirk only grew. Tea watched his I-ate-a-canary-named-Tea look with a sinking feeling. "You have nothing on me Kaiba. You can't make me do anything I don't want to." Tea said firmly, but inside, she was thrown off guard by Kaiba's smirk of absolute certainty.

And the snob knew it. He bared his teeth in a poor attempt at a smile. "Oh, yes I can, little Tea," Kaiba leaned over so cold azure locked on confused cerulean.

And she knew she was in deep shit when Kaiba's eyes _twinkled _-yes twinkled- cunningly. "You _will_ work for me…" The twinkling turned to a horrible brightness that clouded his eyes of any humanity. "Or Serenity will lose her job."

There was a long pause while Tea could only gape in disbelief.

"Catching flies?" Kaiba asked innocently.

Tea slapped him with all the strength she could muster.

"You _BASTARD!_" Though nothing in the world (except maybe that limited edition BEWD plushie he wanted to get for himsel-…for Mokuba.) would ever get him to admit it, that slap hurt. A lot.

Ow. He now had a swelling red handprint on his cheek. But he had to stay strong.

He made a mental note to remember to stuff his face with ice cream later while watching Oprah…you know, for Mokie's sake.

"That was a low blow even for you. I'll make sure you're taken down for firing an employee for no good reason- Serenity is a good person-" Kaiba interrupted with a scoff as he remembered a roaring redhead yelling at him. That girl was no saint.

"Gardner, I can easily fire her for incompetence and no will think the wiser." He took a lazy sip of coffee.

"You jerk! I'll get her a job; she can work with me if she likes," Tea said, bluffing. Kaiba saw through it. "Then why isn't she working with you now, Gardner? I don't think you approved of me to begin with by that scowl on your face- At this rate, you'll have permanent frown lines and then how would you make money?"

"She wants to be as independent as she can," was all she'd ever say to the superficial prick. Remembering a suddenly very encouraging thought, she flicked some of her muffin at his ruined clothes. "I may have frown lines, Kaiba, but at least I don't have to live with having a muffin hurled at my head." Tea said, her voice dangerously syrupy.

Kaiba's look of shock mingled with anger was definitely a Kodak moment.

If she was going down being employed to the devil himself, then she was taking him down with her.

Tea signed her name on the contract, glancing through the terms, even though they could've told her to call her boss (cringe) Kaiba-sama and wear nothing but a florescent pink bunny outfit while she did the hokey pokey, urging people to buy KaibaCorp's merchandise…and she would do it without hesitation.

Because Serenity needed that job. She needed the money. She desperately needed and wanted the independence.

But most of all, Tea just did it because Serenity was her best friend. And friends don't let friends get fired by snobbish assholes. Even if it kills you in the process.

Nonetheless, Kaiba's look of triumph as he stood up sickened Tea. What an ego. "Allow me to escort my new employee outside, Gardner,"

Employee? Employee! She would not become a Seto Kaiba groupie!

"Thank you for the offer but no, Kaiba. I am a human, not a dog." Tea replied through gritted teeth. A twinkling-eyed Kaiba responded with a quaint: "Oh, but I insist, _my pet._ Now, that I have you, I can do whatever I please." To prove his point, Kaiba took a final sip from his cooling coffee and calmly dumped the rest of its contents all over Tea's blouse.

Oh…My…God.

Tea's eyes widened at the unpleasant sensation and most of all at Kaiba's audacity.

"Let's go, Gardner," His voice sounded positively gleeful at the situation. He might actually start skipping. Mentally. For Mokie's sake.

"Y-you JERK!" she sputtered angrily. A blush reddened her cheeks, however; her blouse was white and now see-through.

"Cute bra," Seto Kaiba's perverted smirk was enough to send Tea's sanity over the deep end. She grabbed an incoming waiter's order of coffee and hurled it all at Kaiba's ruined suit. By Kaiba's suppressed gasp of pain, she knew it was scalding hot. Good.

"Ah ha," Tea smirked evilly as she got her purse, prepared to leave in a dramatic huff. Except for Kaiba lunging his hand and putting her wrist in a death grip. "Enough games, Gardner. We are leaving…NOW." And on that final hissed word, he lifted her light form easily over his shoulder like a potato sack. Not that Tea's kicking and yelling of 'RAPE!' was helping. Seto gave a convincing apologetic smile at the bewildered customers. "She's just a tad angry that we have to go…but we'll be back next week." The promise of publicity outweighed the owner's concern for a flailing Tea's doomed cries for salvation.

No one noticed the camera.

**Afterwards, in the parking lot…**

"Stop kicking, Barbie. I'm going to drop you off by your studio," Kaiba remarked to an exhausted Tea who feebly tried to kick his chest while trying not to look at Kaiba's perfect sculpted features.

"I hope -(gasp)- you -(gasp)- rot in hell," Tea replied between tired gasps.

"I'm glad we're feeling all warm and fuzzy now," Kaiba retorted acidly. He shifted her light weight and complained. "Eat much? God, Gardner, you weigh a ton."

"Egoistical block of ice." _Damn, he's got a fine bubble butt. _

"Friendship harpy." _Damn, she has nice legs._

Both gasped in horror.

For the first time in history, Tea and Seto unknowingly agreed on something:_ What have I got myself into?_

_

* * *

_"You've gotten yourself into some deep shit, Serenity." Mrs. Wagner stated for the tenth time that hour as Serenity prepared to meet her boss. 

No shit, Sherlock. "I believe so," Serenity conceded in her soft voice. Inside, she was trembling at the thought of being unemployed, but she refused to show it. Not that her fellow secretaries were helping any.

"Mmmhmm, girl you better start packing,"

"No more free coffee for you!"

"Pity, you'll never again see that fine piece of a-"

Serenity could handle being unemployed, she could live without free coffee, but pity the poor soul who dared to mention the free viewing of a perfect male specimen she had to lose as well.

"**OUT."** The demon-girl hissed at the women in her cubicle. Her transformation from meek secretary to furious hellion left her fellow secretaries running for their cubicles.

Once they were gone, Good Serenity collapsed in her chair, the fire in her completely extinguished.

Truth be told, she liked her job. A lot. Screw everybody hating her boss (he could be the devil himself with abs like that). She liked knowing that she could do something without everybody _coddling_ her like she'd break at any moment.

"_HOLY MOTHER OF FUDGE!"_ Ow. That paper cut stung.

But before Serenity could get back to her train of thought, a small, mousy secretary appeared at the front of her desk looking for all the world like Serenity was about to smite her.

"M-miss S-s-serenity, I was a-a-asked by Kaiba-san to remind y-you of-"

"Oh, for God's sake, girl, I'm not going to eat you." The new secretary cut in, exasperated. She wasn't that scary, was she? She glanced at her reflection in a metal trash bin and saw a scowling girl with blazing eyes and tufts of chestnut (NOT RED, KAIBA! HA!) hair sticking everywhere. Maybe she looked a tad -_just a tad!_- wild.

Serenity put on what she thought was a very soothing I'm-actually-quite-innocent-and-have-no-idea-what-the-F-word-means smile.

With that innocent smile, Serenity the Saint handed the girl an apple while she took another one out. The girl took a tentative bite, trembling. Serenity continued that naïve smile of secretarial unification. "Don't worry, it's not poison! It's just a decoration for when I fry you to a crisp and tack you up on my wall." Serenity continued in that soothing voice, complimenting the girl, "You're too skinny to eat anyways…Hey! Where are you going? I WAS JUST KIDDING!"

**One screaming "CANNIBAL!" secretary later…**

Thinking that her innocent façade was officially ruined, Serenity knocked on Kaiba's door as there was oddly no secretary behind the desk. Where was Rika?

"You're late, Wheeler," came a gruff voice. Taking this as a sign to come in, Serenity did so while wondering how he knew it was her. Not bothering to even raise his head from his work on his laptop, Seto continued.

"Well, I just got a complaint from a newbie saying that you were going to eat her…I try not to be prejudiced (Joey: (snort) Ha.), Wheeler, but cannibalism will not be tolerated…Actually, you can eat that Wagner lady and I will happily turn a blind eye. But back to the task on hand…How stupid are you, mutt?"

"Um, I hope not very stupid, sir." Serenity answered, nervous.

Kaiba closed his eyes and held the bridge of his nose. "That was a rhetorical question."

She blushed. "Oh." She was so screwed. Meanwhile, Kaiba easily multitasked between being engrossed on his laptop while still finding the energy to chew Serenity out.

You see, he's special.

Trying to forestall the inevitable, Serenity tried to make small talk. "Sooo…Where's Rika?" Truly, Serenity was curious because the stupid cow always stayed in her cubicle to show off that she was _SETO KAIBA'S_ **PERSONAL** SECRETARY.

Not that Serenity was jealous or anything.

Without even missing a beat, Kaiba responded, "I fired her today."

Serenity was torn between doing a happy dance and wondering why Miss Perfect was fired. She decided to test her luck while she could. "May I ask why, Kaiba-san?"

"Such a horrible hairdo and screechy voice…How in the world she got peanut butter stuck in her keyboard, I will never know. I had to have her leave immediately. She was going to ruin my image."

'As a cold bastard with the most perfect body she had ever seen? Never.' Serenity wanted to say.

Instead she replied with a polite, "Of course, Kaiba-san." Jerk. Now, Serenity couldn't see Rika's reaction.

After that comment the two lapsed into silence while Kaiba did God-knows-what on his laptop. Once five minutes had passed and Serenity was sure Kaiba was going to need another aimless conversation to divert his attention, she opened her mouth and-

"Don't even try." Kaiba's deep voice cut through Serenity's shocked silence. "You are horrible at small talk."

Kaiba put the last finishing touches on the document he'd been working on since Serenity had arrived. It showed a large white document with the words **'YOU'RE FIRED, MUFFIN MUTT'** in big bold red letters.

He thought adding **'BITE ME, TRUMP.'** was slightly excessive.

Feeling creative, Seto put little red (NOT CHESNUT! HA!) muffins on fire screaming 'Please, forgive me Great Kaiba-sama!' while a large, handsome stick figure cackled in the background.

He thought it was all rather cute.

With that done, Kaiba finally turned to the matter of firing Serenity Wheeler, and if she didn't burst into tears by the end, well then, he just wasn't doing his job right.

Tee hee. This was going to be fun!

"You should be enjoying every minute you're still allowed in KaibaCorp." Kaiba said at last, finished with his masterpiece. Serenity's small flicker of hope extinguished. "Don't give me that look, Wheeler. You knew it was coming. You can't expect to throw a muffin at me and get away with it. Not only that, but you spoke out against me- what was that cute thing you call me again? Oh yes, a pervert." With every comment, Kaiba was getting closer and closer to saying the words he was itching to say. He picked up Serenity's, ahem, interesting résumé. "Well this pervert is going to-" Kaiba's eyes caught a word on Serenity's résumé that he found extremely interesting. So interesting that he stopped what he was doing. Under'Hobbies and Other'(which Kaiba only put in after people kept rattling on about their lives in the other boxes), after Serenity blabbed about liking walks in the park…there was a fascinating tidbit about her best friend. A best friend who would do _anything_ for her. Who happened to be Tea Gardner.

Oh, this was just too good.

If Kaiba weren't so manly he might've giggled. Instead he chose to give Serenity a slow smirk...while he giggled inside. Serenity gulped. This was the moment she had been dreading.

"Wheeler, you are f-" Kaiba hurriedly retyped the word. Serenity gulped and closed her eyes. Kaiba turned around his laptop so Serenity could read the screen. "hired as my new personal secretary."

There was a shocked silence where all Serenity could do was stare, with her jaw open, at Kaiba's nose.

Yes, Kaiba's nose.

It was a nice nose by all means. Not too pointy yet not one of those pert little noses that Serenity had. It was nice and perfectly straight. He didn't even have any huge nostrils; they were cute (could nostrils be cute?) little apostrophes offsetting a regal, straight nose. Hmmm…did Kaiba shave off his nose hair...Serenity squinted but she couldn't see any…

And then Serenity remembered that she needed to stop ogling a nose and remember what her boss just said. "WHAT?" she gasped.

"Wow." Kaiba said, his voice dripping sarcasm. "That took you a full minute to respond."

Serenity read the line Kaiba had typed in disbelief. "I-I'm not fired? I'm y-your new PERSONAL secretary?" she said, her eyes wide.

"And you can read too. You sure are special, Wheeler."

With that comment, Serenity snapped out of her awed stupor and into the reality where she was employed to a very handsome man, who was a complete, heartlessbastard nonetheless.

"Please, forgive me Kaiba-san," Serenity simpered in her sweetest voice, yet her eyes gleamed devilish. "But you have a red muffin screaming for mercy while an ugly stick figure cackles in the background. I don't think those images are exactly encouraging for promotion." By Seto's narrowed eyes, she knew she had won this round. She suppressed a giggle as Kaiba muttered a disgruntled, "It's not ugly."

As they walked to _her_ desk (Beat that, Rika!), Serenity felt millions of questions fighting to be answered in her head. So, of course, she had to blurt out the first one that came to mind. "What if I'm not cute enough with a horrible hairstyle and voice, that'll ruin your image?" Stupid, stupid!

Kaiba bent down to look at Serenity's worried face, and quietly gazed at her from inch to inch with his piercing eyes. After the bizarre inspection that looked more like Kaiba was checking her out, he elegantly lifted an eyebrow at her.

"Well, if you weren't better than Rika in all aspects, then why would I hire you?" he simply said. Serenity furrowed her brow; 'Did Kaiba just say I'm cute? Nah.'

"In fact, you look good enough to eat." a familiar husky voice whispered in her ear, sounding amused. Serenity jumped four feet as she realized it was SETO KAIBA who said it. She looked up at him in surprise; he made a biting motion with his teeth and the new personal secretary could've sworn she saw an amused grin flit across his face. (gasp) Did Seto have a sense of humor?

"Now, keep moving, mutt or I'm going to have to get a leash." Of course not.

While her boss lectured her on regulations and rules as Serenity sat in her new chair, the girl subtly tuned him out. As much as she found that she had exactly two minutes to use the bathroom utterly fascinating, she really needed to process her stunned thoughts.

One second she was trembling from being unemployed, the next she was Seto Kaiba's personal secretary. HIS _PERSONAL_ SECRETARY.

Somehow, the 'personal' part just made it sound naughty. Before Good Serenity could send off the idea, an image of Kaiba, his oxford shirt ripped open (wearing _the_ pants of course to show off his slim hips), appeared in her head. His straight hair was now a sexy mess, and his chest was lean and chiseled. His thin lips were curved into a smirk as he slowly took a small bite out of a banana nut muffin that was oddly a chestnut color-

"Serenity?" a deep husky voice broke her back into reality. The girl in question found herself staring inches away from depthless sapphire eyes and the lips she had just seen eating a muffin. Seto Kaiba. The man with a perfect nose.

"Yes?" answered a breathless Serenity, imagining the possibilities. They were so close…Any minute now, he would lean over and close the torturous gap between their lips-

"Stop drooling."

* * *

Although I don't think this is as funny as the first chapter, after rewriting this so many times, I'm satisfied with it. (I've never had to describe a nose before...X.X) 

**IMPORTANT A/N: IF YOU HAVE ALREADY VOTED, PLZ DO NOT VOTE AGAIN SO I DO NOT GET CONFUSED! YOU ARE OF COURSE WELCOME IF NOT URGED TO LEAVE A REVIEW THOUGH! IF YOU HAVEN'T VOTED, PLZ DO SO! YOU MAY ALSO CHANGE YOUR VOTE OR IF YOU CAN'T DECIDE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHOOSE! Phew. All done. **

Anyways, plz review! I promise to respond to your reviews next chapter! For now I'll just say a big thank you to **Possessed Squirrel, Dreammistress Jade, Swimmurgirl, Yami Evelyn, GeminiGirl, LiveLoveLaugh, Miss Setsuki, Oo, chris, Lucy, Dearka170, xchimera, pink-strawberries, doom-saga, PrincessChaos, Rajalily, and theresa.** You all rock! Happy Labor Day!

-Starlet36 :D


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